Wednesday, August 27, 2025

27th August 2025

 Marriage: Tomorrow we are off down to Shropshire to celebrate the wedding of Eleanor Daisy Riddy and Thomas Nicholas Opper Cunnane.  Tom of course carrying his grandfather's name forward, along with the Opper family in Switzerland and his father's name, who has slipped out of the picture over the years. We have rooms at Iscoyde Park (Sounds posh) and Andrew will pick up the three from London from the railway station at Whitchurch there. 

An engagement photo of Nick and myself

The couple are totally in love, Tom is so sweet around Ellie and of course it stirs memories from me when I remember his grandfather and how much we were in love as well.

Nick was taken so abruptly in a car accident when my daughter was about 3 years old.  The blackest of griefs the night my father-in-law came to my hotel bedroom and said that Nick had died at the hospital.  He went back to comfort Lotta and I faced the night wondering how would I go on living.  But I made the decision to go on because I had a young daughter to support. 

Nick had been educated in England, a Canterbury school I believe and then Oxford, he had hardly started out on life when it was cut down abruptly by a silly woman turning out of a driveway without checking that a car was coming.  

Nick had been to see his best friend David in Oxford.  David was an expert on concrete and Nick was selling some sort of early type computing machines.  I was just trying to remember where we lived at the time.  It was Frimley, near Woking.  My father-in-law had found us living in a wretched bungalow which dripped with condensation and was icily cold and he had given us a deposit for the Frimley house.

Nick and David


As my family was so at odds with each other, I more or less got adopted by the Opper family, we shared the tragedy of Nick's death, Lotta's youngest son.  And so in the holiday weeks Karen and I would go over to Blonay and stay there. 

Nick and I had happy times of course, we were going to buy one of those self assembly houses we had seen at an exhibition and build a home.  We went up to Oxford for parties and meeting David.

This was the time when British families working overseas sent their children to England to be educated, Nick had scars on his back where he had been beaten at school, he was dyslexic which obviously did not help.  The youngest of four children he was the baby of the family.  His sister Annabel, a Montessori teacher would come over to England and take him out to tea whilst he boarded at school. His other sister Sylvia, taught in Hong Kong and wrote, with someone else a book on Piaget and his teachings.  Whilst Mike the eldest had emigrated to Canada, to become a boxer, than  a lumberjack.

All this I write down for my family and for myself of course.  And maybe even for Taylor Swift, who announced her engagement to someone yesterday;)

Marriage and love is still not dead!

Ellie and Tom


Rebecca Solnit - Meditations in an emergency.  As always there is an edit ;)



16 comments:

  1. Lovely engagement photograph of you and Nick. Life can be brutal.

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    1. Yes the whole world changed and I had to change to.

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  2. Thank you to read your a bit of life. (I have had a stroke - difficult to write) I came from Frimley near. Hook Heath. X

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  3. It is lovely to hear from you Tom. Sorry about the wretched stroke, I hope with time you will get better. You are in our hearts always. xxx

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  4. Oh, Thelma, what a sad, horrible event for you to go through. I hope this wedding will bring back some of the happier memories of your days with your Nick. Best wishes to Ellie and Tom for many happy years together. I'm sure the celebrations will be lovely and can't wait to hear all about it.

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    1. Well Tom is the first of my grandchildren, and to be honest Ellen I never thought I would live long enough to see any of them married so it is a lovely surprise and for the fact they have gone for a good old fashioned wedding.

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  5. We write our stories, ours and the ones we know of those who came before us, wondering who will later read and ponder. I think of my g-grandfather who died a decade before I was born, the loss of his first wife, bleeding to death during childbirth on her 26th birthday. I am shaken each time I look at their family portrait, but I find that my children and grandchildren as yet have no interest.
    Some of us seem by nature designated as keepers of the family history. When someone is cut off so early in adulthood, as was your husband and my g-grandmother, we wonder how differently a family would have progressed had they lived. Fruitless speculation, I suppose.
    Thank you for sharing more of your story.

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    1. It is an interesting game to wonder how life would have worked out for different people in the past and then a chance happening either destroying it or them making a success Sharon. For it is always in the chances that lives develop through and prosper, or not.

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  6. I don't think my Mum was ever happy after my Dad was taken from her - motorbike accident in his case -when they had only been married four years and she was pregnant with me.
    Life can be so cruel.
    Best wishes to Tom and Ellie for a long and happy life together.

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    1. Thank you Sue for the wishes. And yes you are quite right about a death leaving a mark on you for the rest of life.

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  7. Such writing is very valuable as a record, filtered through often defective memories, but still so important. Your engagement photo is lovely.

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  8. But then the telling is in the story isn't it Andrew. Times were more formal in the 20th century, so a posed photo would be important.

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  9. The wedding of Tom and Ellie will be like a dream of love and hope just as your marriage to Nick was all those years ago. Bread and roses indeed. I am glad you will be there to witness the union.

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  10. Let's hope so Neil and indeed that there are roses all along the way.

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  11. What a tough hand life dealt you! Still, though, you took those cards and made a good life.

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  12. Yes Debby though I would say the survival gene kicked in ;)

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