Thursday, January 9, 2020

Thursday 9th January

Dear Diary. quite like that opening.  In a separate blog I am typing out my thoughts on the younger me.  It is extraordinary how you arrive at the later point of life, with all the things that have happened to you over the years, I realise I must have enjoyed my life, the miserable times were hard but I arrived in one piece.  Today is my birthday and I need to reflect for Paul's absence on this day is so sad.

Opened my presents from my daughter, Middlemarch by George Elliott which I had asked for, a good long read on the fallibility of its characters, and a long grey cardigan which is lovely which I shall wear tonight at the social meeting at the pub.

Yesterday I talked to Nigel over the road, he has been in the village for years but told me he does not know anyone to speak to on my side of the road.  Why not? is it the f****** class system that stands in the way, or is it a suburban mindset, that crafts a neat home and garden and looks down on self-sufficient people.

Also took C and J to the gardening club meeting in the afternoon, which was about, wait for it, 'Tulips from Amsterdam'. I Do Not Like flowers grown in straight lines but the Dutch obviously do!

The question of getting people, a) to get together, and b) talking has been on my mind for quite a while.  C did not know that Nigel's wife was ill though she has lived in the village for 30 years, but J did talk to Nigel, for instance when he wanted to buy hay for his sheep.

The meeting tonight is to discuss  social get togethers through the year, the next one is the Carvery at the end of this month.  Someone from the village came up to me at the meeting (I am taking on Paul's role in this it seems) to ask could not the church/parish meeting/social all come together.  Church attendance down to three, the vicar with 9 churches to look after.  But....... should the money we raise from social events go towards the church funds?

Thoughts bounce through my mind....

Just read the story of when Flush (Elizabeth Barrett's spaniel) was dognapped, it all ended happily of course.... Virginia Woolf wrote a book about Flush.

"Flush lived happily with the Brownings until he passed away peacefully in Florence on June 16, 1854 at age thirteen. Pen, then five years old, found him the morning he died, and the family cried together. “It has been quite a shock to me & a sadness,” Elizabeth wrote to Arabel. “My head aches so I can scarcely see,” she told a friend. When her son had stopped weeping, he assured his mother that in a year, Flush would be reborn. “He never doubts the prolonged existence of the dog-soul,” wrote Elizabeth to Robert’s sister, adding wistfully, “And he may be right.”

14 comments:

  1. Happy Birthday! Wishing you a year filled with happy adventures with friends and family!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Ellen, think I will leave adventuring till the weather gets warmer and dryer.

      Delete
  2. Birthdays are especially hard aren't they? So put on that new cardi and step out tonight - it is good to hear you are getting on with life. I know from experience just how essential it is to do that. Happy Birthday.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Pat, the day has gone well. Planted the primroses and cleared the garden for a bit, but there is a lot that needs doing. Wish the weather would improve.

      Delete
  3. Belated Happy Birthday wishes. Grief is such a long and hard process, but you are in a community that seems to know what you are going through.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes Tabor they are very kind in the village, they have moved furniture, built a bed for me and generally been very helpful. Grief is difficult, I have Paul's stuff still laid out, phones, watches, glasses etc it is a comfort but the truth is he is not coming back.
      But thank you for the birthday wishes.

      Delete
    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
  4. Happy Birthday Thelma. A Capricorn. Are you a procrastinator? Capricorns are renowned for it.

    (Sorry, deleted it because it came out in the wrong place and on reading the previous comment I realised it could have seemed rather inappropriate placed there).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Rachel for the birthday wishes. I think the answer is no to being a procrastinator, actually don't believe in the stars foretelling my character. But moving on will take awhile.

      Delete
    2. I don't believe in predictions but I do believe in certain traits that people have born under different signs. Peter is a Capricorn. It takes him years to make decisions. My comment was general and nothing to do with your current circumstances.

      Delete
    3. "I don't believe in predictions but I do believe in certain traits that people have born under different signs". That surprises me, when you come to think of it out of the billions of people that have been born on this Earth do they all follow the same traits when born at different times? Surely we are the result of "nurture rather than nature"

      Delete
    4. You could be right. A subject for you read.

      Delete
  5. It's 9pm on your birthday so I am just in time to wish you a Happy Birthday! It's funny how people can live in close proximity for years and never talk. It is nice that you have made Nigel's acquaintance. Perhaps he is the kind of fellow who doesn't make friends easily.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thank you YP for the birthday wishes. Nigel has a sick wife who needs care, so his animals keep him outside and working in the fresh air. Every day he goes down the lane with his large dog Sasha to cut 'browse' for his sheep and goats. As for people not talking, pettiness is rife amongst the people at the other end of the village!

    ReplyDelete

Love having comments!