Looking at things you shouldn't: Bet I got you there ;) No, as you will no doubt have gathered I love animals, It seems to run in my family on my mother's side. They have moved through my life, ponies, donkey, dogs, cats and rabbits. Now I am animal less, no dog or cat to pet and worry over, I have held their paws as the final needle goes in and wept for the loss. But actually most of them got to a dandy old age.
It started as a child, I wanted a dog, and so my grandfather got me one, sadly it was a St. Bernard I wanted, it was not housetrained, a breeding dog and had to go back to its breeder. There were spaniels and of course poodles in the family. The poodle was the 'in' dog when I was growing up. I believe celebrities go for those funny little pug like dogs now, it is sad what we do in the name of fashion.
I have moved away from what I started off with. Well I love these little videos of animals on the screen and then this popped up. It was supposedly a dog on an ice floe but when I clicked this frightening page appeared.
A Microsoft page, I had been attacked, do not turn off, phone this number. So I did, knowing in my heart I had just been scammed, but of course the scammer was on the other end of the phone. Told him to **** off and blocked the number. All is well, turned off my computer anyway and it came back on happily. Talk about teething problems.....
I am questioning myself now, why did I want a St.Bernard? I think it was because a lovely collie border puppy I had been given for a birthday present died of distemper and it broke my heart.
I think my understanding of this is that I mourn a life never lived, as I grew older and contemplate death, okay in this household we treat it with humour, I realise we have to make plans for the future though.
Edit: A favourite blog of the landscape and wild life where I live. Too old to walk up onto the moors through the woods, but Paul Knight traces the brilliant arrival of June through the last two essays he has written.
Here is the newest, 'Essence' but the one before that is equally as beautiful. 'Luminous'
I too love animals and remember all my cats and dogs - we just have to go in knowing that their lives are shorter than ours don't we. It doesn't make the parting any easier though.
ReplyDeleteSomehow we all full of memories Pat, as we get older they race back to haunt us and yet .....
DeleteThis is a timely post, Thelma. I have been thinking a lot about endings. They don't frighten me. I have out lived my father. My mother was less than seven years older than I am when she died. I think of all the endings that I have seen. I know that my ending is inevitable. What I find is that this knowledge makes me want. I think of all the things that I don't know, that I haven't seen, that I haven't done, and I want to know, see, and do. It's a transition. A balance needs to be struck. Balancing myself with the others in my life. I would not want to lead a life of self indulgence. Neither do I want to live a life solely focused on someone else's vision of what life is.
ReplyDeleteI know where you are coming from Debby but take one step at a time. You are much younger than me, and inherited genes do not necessarily need to forecast doom. But it is your life and you must take the steps you want, also, your family must be part of it. I think that is called compromise ;)
ReplyDeleteOh dear, I don't expect to kick off any time soon, but I am acknowledging that ticking clock.
ReplyDeleteThat's good news Debby.....
ReplyDelete