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| The Emperor visiting the Japanese Conservation studio, with Paul's - Paul Mccartney hairstyle |
I walk the path between my life and your death my love. Dramatic I know but the daily tears do not get less, I hold out my hand for Paul's touch as I remember him moving past my chair and reaching out. The small squabble as he says you haven't hugged me for ages, yes I did yesterday I say back - I am always precise and truthful. Like politics love should not be talked about but I was lucky at the tail end of my life to meet the man I loved, to worship him in my own way.
Why custodian? perhaps museum keeper would be a better description, everywhere in drawers and rooms are the tools of his trade, the collection of small objects he picked up, mostly in Kyoto his favourite Japanese city. His car in the garage, waiting the will of probate. His books line the shelves of his study, as they do downstairs in what we called the 'library room'. His bench just outside in the garden where he would enjoy summer evenings with a pint, totally happy with his world. And I have to remind myself that this is what I gave him, a place he loved. Often he would say I never would have thought in a million years that I would end up in Yorkshire, but he had, and so in those few years we had together they were happy for him.
This the first page of an article written about him, it was a tale he told many a time of the young English man, leaving Swindon Art College and arriving in a strange country called Japan.
That was beautiful, Thelma.
ReplyDeleteThank you, as I was writing it, not really meaning it to go public, Tom's birthday just flashed in the r/h corner, and I realised that life has many good happy moments, and that all should be recalled.
DeleteLovely feelings. It's how it is with all love relationships though if they last long enough-- one goes first. When my husband and I were much younger, had small children, I remember lying beside him and hearing his heart beat and thinking someday one of us will be there when the other's stops beating. It's inevitable and only about which goes first. This year, if we are both still here in September, it'll be 56 years. BTW, his name is also Paul. Sorry for your loss but also glad you had what you did.
ReplyDeleteThank you Rain, for both the comment and your memory of your Paul as well. That will be a long time 56 years and I am glad that it was happy.
DeleteChin up my dear. Live on the memories as I do - the love you gave one another, the happiness - remember as I do the arms around one another - that can't happen any more but aren't we both lucky to have such wonderful memories?
ReplyDeleteThank you Pat. The memories definitely filter through my brain all the time, and being in love and loved is probably one of the most treasured gifts of all.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean! I'm glad you shared what you wrote, because as you say, life is full of good moments, and remembering the man you love fills that moment with your love. I was happy to read about him.
ReplyDeleteSometimes it is difficult to actually press the publish button, but I did this time..
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